Its 10:30 pm, I got out of bed to write this post. That in itself says a lot.
Day 40. I've been waiting a while for this day to come. I don't know why, it seems like some sort of milestone number for some reason. I've been thinking for a few days of what I would say when this day came. How I haven't lost what I wanted to. How this blog isn't turning out as I intended it to be. How this is way more struggle, than journey. Seriously, I did not invite you all to watch me flounder.
But I've also been reminded by some really great people, who get to hear me bitch about the scale every damn day, how much I have done, even if the numbers don't show.
I got on my scale this morning. I was down .4 lbs. Yeah. Somehow this led to not working out with Brent today. I'm sure he will forget by Monday. I was angry, again. I was disappointed, again. But here I am at 10:34 and I'm over it. I'm just not going to let a metal piece of junk dictate my progress. I'm not weighing anymore for a while. Maybe just on the first of each month.
So I got up out of bed to tell you that I cant lose 20 pounds to save my life, but here is what I can do:
Walk on the treadmill at a 9 incline for an hour without dying
I can squat, plank, row, snatch, clean and press, no that's not ironing, I don't even own one.
I can keep up with people half my weight.
I can make new friends because people seem to gravitate to me when they see I can keep up with people half my weight.
I can choose salad and shit over a dinner at Maggianos.
I can cry, I can complain, sometimes even swear.
I can fill a t shirt with sweat and tears.
I can stay on an elliptical until I burn 1000 calories.
And I can still keep going after that.
I can inspire, I can motivate, I can set an example.
I can be so sore that people are telling me I'm walking funny, but I still show up at the gym.
I can run if you make me. Even if you tie me down with a giant rubber band, I'll still get pretty far. Yeah, he did that to me.
I can do hard. Sometimes.
And I can get up and do it all again the next day.
You might know me personally, or you may have just stumbled across this mess, but this is Day 40 and you know that I can.
Love you Katie! Yes, I know you CAN do this! You've got me moving....Although I can't do half the stuff you can, it's more than I've done in months! The scale is just a number...there are other factors involved...other numbers. You are stronger then you were 40 days ago. You have more energy than you did 40 days ago. People have noticed the change.
ReplyDeleteSo keep at it, keep bitching, and I'll keep listening to you....but don't give up!
You made me cry. I'm a baby. And I love you and all the effort you are putting in. Those are some amazing things you've accomplished in a short amount of time Ms. Thang. I forgot how important NSV's are. Sometimes lugging all this fat around makes you feel like you aren't getting anywhere. Since i'm back to popping diabetic meds regularly I can now see that there was some progress. I really wish I could stay in the frame of mind to appreciate it.
ReplyDeleteYou have no idea just how much you do inspire me. I think you've felt more in the last couple of months than you have in a long time. Or maybe you're just in a good enough place to share those feelings. The fact that you're brave enough to put it all out there is amazing. You're not just helping yourself, but the rest of us as well.
Hi shipmate! You can do all those things you list AND lose a lot more than 20 pounds. You are doing all the right things, of course you are going to reach your weight loss goals! Your mind just wants it to happen faster than your body can deliver the results. Look what you have already accomplished in JUST 40 days. Stand back from the tree for a minute and take in the forest. Give yourself the credit you deserve.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you're taking your focus off the scale for a while....you have accomplished so much and keep selling yourself short about it because of tat stupid scale. I love you and am so incredibly proud of everything you CAN do!!!!
ReplyDeleteWe told you so!!!!!!! ok lecture over... love hearing all the things that you can do. we know you are capable of even more. way proud of you katie! keep it up, and keep motivating us : )
ReplyDeleteSo happy to see this!! You so deserve to bask in the glow of all you CAN do!! Congrats, this is a fabulous blog:-)
ReplyDeleteI pulled a QT, and just cried my ass off. A M A Z I N G is your name. I can't even see to type.
ReplyDeleteKatie you are awesome. You are in better shape then I am :) You should be proud of yourself, I am. I am so happy for you. Keep on keeping on. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!
ReplyDeleteLove ya :)
Oh, Katie! I'm sorry it took me so long to get here to read this. I'm so freakin proud of you! The things you can do, the strength that you've discovered inside you, the amazing role model you've turned out to be! Yes, you are the role model. Because, even though I'm always reminding you to not give up, you're the one who's busting ass! I just want to give you a hug so much right now!!
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