Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Day 8 - 6 down, just 1 more

Had my first weigh in today since Brent talked some sense into me last week. Down 6 pounds!!! Check out my little runner girl at the bottom of the page! She is moving!!
I get to take some post-its down off my wall too! Did you forget about those? I didn’t. I see them every day. This plan works! I just need to work the plan. The only thing I have really done differently is cut out any extra sugary snacks like the occasional cookie, and I cut back on cheese. Besides that, Im pretty much doing everything the same. Eating a little bit more too! Oh, and a bag of frozen broccoli every night with dinner.
I love riding the weight loss high; it gives me the energy and strength I need to move on.

Today was my Tuesday morning workout with Brent. There was no yakking of any type today. We did some treadmill work, not too fast. Walking lunges, squats with weights, rows, a little bit of boxing and my new favorite, assisted pull ups. That was tough. The first 5 or so, I was like ok this is good, I got this. Then it got hard. Really hard. I struggled to finish the last few of the 15 reps. After some lunges, I did it again. I think I was shaking harder from the pull-ups then I was from the jogging last week. The last 5 were so hard. When I got to 15 Brent said do just 1 more! So I did. Then he said Now just 1 more!! Ugh! He thinks he is funny like that! But I did it. And that’s why I love him, he is always pushing me to do my best and try my hardest.

I just decided while sitting here looking at my shoes, when I get to 20lbs lost, I’m going to buy myself a new pair of gym shoes. That could very well be next week!

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Day 3 - Heave

Today was my third one on one workout with Brent, bright and early at 6:30 this morning. It was going pretty well, it was tough, but not terrible. The worst part about him is that he doesn't give you much rest in between exercises. Im lucky to get a whole minute sometimes. Im sure this is part of the method to his madness, but damn, sometimes a girl needs to breathe!
On the last circuit I had to do the treadmill at a 7.5 incline, 3.5 speed for a minute and a half, then a minute of squats with weights, then a minute of rows. Then a minute rest and right back the the treadmill.
I was still out of breath from the first round and I had to get back on. This time he decided to go for 4.5 speed. Im only 5'4, I have little legs, and they dont go very fast. 4.5 is a lot for me, even in that very short amount of time. By the last 30 seconds, I was pretty much crying. When I finally made it and got off, I just needed a second to breath. Too late, exercise overload and I started to cough. Luckily I dont like to eat in the morning, but Brent makes me get up early and have a protein shake so I have something in me.
While Brent tried to get me to move on to the next exercise, I was freaking out. Its kind of a blur now. I remember saying I just need a minute, crying kind of, then I'm hoovering over the garbage can. Horking up nothing thankfully, but heaving still the same.
I caught my breath, collected myself, and finished the last 2 exercises. Brent was beaming! Not like he likes to see anyone throw up, but its good to be pushed outside your comfort zone, its good to let your body know change is coming, and its good to suck it up and keep going!
He even called me at my desk an hour later just to say how proud he was of me, and that I did a great job. It was a terrible 3 minutes of my life, but I was just fine the rest of the day. I hate knowing that more days like this or come, but its not his fault I'm out of shape.
Puke happens, I'll survive.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Day 2 - One Goal

Today is the day I became a college graduate!!! This has been the longest road of my life. I was a high school dropout, living in the gutter. Fast forward 10 years later, I'm a bachelor degree holding, home owning, successful woman.
Nobody helped me get here. Sure, everyone wanted me to go to school, but no one helped me. No one took interest, no one took any time to visit an orientation with me, or help plan a schedule. No one cooked a meal, helped with homework, woke me up after a late night. I did this. I made this happen. I sacrificed for my greater good. My money, my time, my blood sweat and tears. I own this degree 100 percent.

Now that its all said and done, I only have one thing on my to do list...
Lose this mother freaking weight.

I have time now, lots of it! Time to plan, time to exercise, time to rest.

I don't care if it takes me 5 years, I will do this, and I will own this. I will live the life I deserve because I struggled like hell to get here, you have no idea. The only thing stopping me is me, and its time to start kicking my own ass. I thought I became a new person when I turned 30 earlier this year, and started all this stuff, but I have just been reborn right now. You just witnessed it. I will succeed. I will own it. I will make it. I will do this.

One Goal.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Day 1

Where have I been? I don't know. Wandering around in a strange strange place.

My intention was to come here and post the new plans Brent gave me last week. But obviously, I never did. I havent been able to get my mind back where it needs to be. Ive just been floating through life the past 2 weeks, doing nothing, eating crap, existing. Not living.

It blew up in my face yesterday when Brent found me eating something I wasnt supposed to be. After he spent his own time putting together a new workout schedule and menu plan. He wasn't very pleased. He was pretty angry. A lot more angry then he let me know. I had to find out from other people that he was on the rampage last night. Luckily he cooled down, and was nice to me this morning. He asked if I want to do this or not, and of course I do. But then why am I not doing the things Im supposed to be doing? I dont know. If I did, I wouldn't weight 357 lbs.

I dont know why I eat crap. I dont know why I am a lazy piece of shit who lays around for days on end. I dont know.

Brent has been nothing but good to me all this time. Investing his own time and money to help me. To save me. The things I need to do are really pretty simple on paper. Getting my brain to cooperate is something different.

If I want to do this, I have to start doing this. All the way. 100 percent. For the most part, I do that. But there are a lot of times when I don't. A cookie here, extra snack there. It adds up apparently.

I was pretty sad this morning. My feelings are hurt that his feelings are hurt.

I called today Day 1, because that is what I'm making it. A new beginning in time. Yesterday does not matter. I need to make the most of today.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Day Fifty One - Another plan

Well, I talked with Brent today about his plan. He wants to create a 12 or 16 week plan with variable exercise intensities and calorie intakes to keep my body guessing, as it obviously hates me. I'm going to start working out with him one on one 2 days a week, attend Boot Camp class one day a week and continue doing cardio daily. I cant say for sure what is plan will entail because who knows what he will actually come up with when he sits down to do it. He is still adament that I can lose 85lbs before the end of the year. I told him I know I can put in the work that needs to be done, but will my body return the favor?

I'm game for anything. I think through all this I have been a trooper. Ill try anything, nothing had been off limits. If you told me 6 months ago I would be working out 3x a day, gaining weight, and still plugging along, I probably would have slapped the words right out of your mouth. But I have nothing to lose here. Nothing to lose but half my body weight. Once school is finally over in 3 weeks, I really will have nothing but time on my hands.

So he wants to start this next week. That is if he actually gets the plan together and has something ready. I told him no more pushing things off, dont forget about me this week.

He also wants me to do some videos, which I think is a good idea. I will add it to the blog, one day a week will be a video, maybe a weekly recap. I think it will be pretty funny. I can get a little passionate writing stuff here, hearing it come out of my mouth will be even better.
And, we will be able to look back and see how I have changed.

I did not exercise today. Not sure if Brent noticed or not. Ill know for sure tomorrow when I show up for class. It was a nice change to not have to come home and get straight into the shower to wash the lunchtime film off.

More details as I get them, I hope he doesnt drag getting this all together.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Day 50 - My turn

Math time! Over 5 days I burned 9753 calories per my heart rate monitor, add in my BMR (what I burn just living and breathing) of 2500 per day, MFP gives me 2900, I’m going a little lower.
Subtract out calories eaten and I get a 12250 calorie deficit. Now if it takes a deficit of 3500 calories to lose a pound, I should have lost 3.5 lbs.
How much did I lose? 0
How much did I gain? 3 lbs.
I declare 3-a-days over.

I sent an email to Brent laying it out for him, since he never listens when I talk. Its not like I’ve never lost weight before in my life, I know it’s possible. I lost 65 pounds before, and had a loss every single week for an entire year, never once gained. And NEVER exercised as much as I have been now. I just want to go back to that. I want to count my calories, exercise 2-4 times a week, when I feel like it. At my weight the nutrition should do the work for me.

Brent read my email, said he had an idea, but didn’t have time to talk about it until tomorrow. Big surprise there. I’m not bringing my exercise clothes to work tomorrow. I’m just not doing it. I will go to Boot Camp class on Monday and Wednesday and I will exercise on the weekend on my own. This everyday crap is over. If he can’t get that by now, then it’s really over.

I know its day 50 here on the blog, but that is since he started with his 85lb goal. I have been exercising every single day with him for just about 3 months now, since May 9th. I have missed only a handful of days due to work or injury. I have lost 12 lbs in that time. Uncool.
I did everything he asked for 11 weeks, its my turn now. I got this.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Day Forty Eight - 4/14

I've never been so happy for the weekend in my entire life. As part of Brent's plan I only have to exercise twice on Saturday and Sunday is my 'rest' day with only one workout! Yay!

I wanted to post last night about my day yesterday, I laid on the couch for just a minute and was out. I tried so hard to get up this morning for 8 AM Jazzercise. I set my alarm for 7. I got up at 6 to go to the bathroom and turned the radio on so I wouldn't fall back into a hard sleep. The alarm went off at 7, and I just couldn't move. I just needed a few more minutes. Then it was 8:00. That's ok, Ill make it to 9:30 Jazzercise, just a few more minutes. Then it was 9:30. I had to drag my ass out of bed. My body is angry. Heavy like a rock, slow and tired. When I finally make it to the living room I discover a crew up of men sawing down and digging up trees with bobcats right out side in my yard. I slept through all that.
Now that it was 10:00 and I missed my opportunity for 'easy' exercise, I hemmed and hawed about getting on the elliptical. I got dressed, put my shoes on then sat there. Took my shoes off, sat there some more. I could not make my ass move! Finally somewhere close to 11, I got on and got moving. Got my hour in, then headed to the pool. Got some sun and some extra calories of swimming in. Came home, took a quick nap and got my second work out in.

I feel like all I do is sweat and shower. This exercise is consuming my life! My house is a disaster of dishes and exercise clothes. Socks, tank tops and sweatpants cover the floor as far as the eye can see. I'm glad there is only one workout tomorrow. I will get up, get it done, then get a handle on the house and laundry. I cant wait for Monday to show Brent what is going on with the scale so he can get off this more is better crap. Its not. But I will do anything to prove a point. Even if I lose nothing, I still think I'm pretty awesome for proving to myself that I can do anything if I try.