Its 10:30 pm, I got out of bed to write this post. That in itself says a lot.
Day 40. I've been waiting a while for this day to come. I don't know why, it seems like some sort of milestone number for some reason. I've been thinking for a few days of what I would say when this day came. How I haven't lost what I wanted to. How this blog isn't turning out as I intended it to be. How this is way more struggle, than journey. Seriously, I did not invite you all to watch me flounder.
But I've also been reminded by some really great people, who get to hear me bitch about the scale every damn day, how much I have done, even if the numbers don't show.
I got on my scale this morning. I was down .4 lbs. Yeah. Somehow this led to not working out with Brent today. I'm sure he will forget by Monday. I was angry, again. I was disappointed, again. But here I am at 10:34 and I'm over it. I'm just not going to let a metal piece of junk dictate my progress. I'm not weighing anymore for a while. Maybe just on the first of each month.
So I got up out of bed to tell you that I cant lose 20 pounds to save my life, but here is what I can do:
Walk on the treadmill at a 9 incline for an hour without dying
I can squat, plank, row, snatch, clean and press, no that's not ironing, I don't even own one.
I can keep up with people half my weight.
I can make new friends because people seem to gravitate to me when they see I can keep up with people half my weight.
I can choose salad and shit over a dinner at Maggianos.
I can cry, I can complain, sometimes even swear.
I can fill a t shirt with sweat and tears.
I can stay on an elliptical until I burn 1000 calories.
And I can still keep going after that.
I can inspire, I can motivate, I can set an example.
I can be so sore that people are telling me I'm walking funny, but I still show up at the gym.
I can run if you make me. Even if you tie me down with a giant rubber band, I'll still get pretty far. Yeah, he did that to me.
I can do hard. Sometimes.
And I can get up and do it all again the next day.
You might know me personally, or you may have just stumbled across this mess, but this is Day 40 and you know that I can.